


Not So Bad

by squall



Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-31
Updated: 2013-12-31
Packaged: 2018-01-06 20:50:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1111379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squall/pseuds/squall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Squall and Rinoa are opposites in almost every imaginable way. This can either cause problems or bring them closer together. To Squall, it does both.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not So Bad

**Author's Note:**

> I was tired and felt like writing angst. But then it turned into cheesy fluff.

Rinoa Heartilly was bubbly, cheerful, and confident. Squall Leonhart never considered himself any of those. He loathed to be around such people.

She was also true to her feelings, honest in every way. Meanwhile, he could never express his feelings, and didn't want to. He'd much rather hide something than blurt out anything relating to emotions.

The seemingly stoic commander was jealous of someone like her. She had so many positive qualities, things he lacked in many ways. Yes, he was a little jealous; but he figured it didn't matter anyway. He had to accept who he was and how he was likely to always be. He _wanted_ to be how he was; it’s better to close off your feelings.

 

* * *

 

Squall had noticed it more and more lately; although he took anything but pleasure from being around anyone outgoing or talkative, he found himself enjoying the presence of Rinoa Heartilly.

The two were sitting at a table in the library, which was for once, almost entirely empty. It was late in the afternoon however, so it was sensible why. Squall enjoyed the silence and savored these few peaceful moments.

It wasn't _all_ peaceful though; his mind was occupied on more stressful matters. He and Rinoa used to argue about stupid (or so he thought they were) matters, but lately they've been getting on better terms. She hasn't lectured him much, other than subtly, and he hasn't said anything too cold in front of her.

That in itself was all good, and Squall had to admit he liked the growing bond between them. If he could even call it that. He didn't know _what_ was growing, but something was, and it was for the better.

Continuing to stare at the book he'd been reading, he stole glances at Rinoa every once in a while. In fact, he wasn't even reading the book; he was just looking at it, not paying any actual attention to it. He was surprised that Rinoa was so absorbed into whatever she was reading, since she didn't seem to the type to like books all that much. Come to think of it, she did always seem to go in the library during their spare time, didn't she?

The commander found himself noticing more and more little details about Rinoa Heartilly, and that confused him. He shouldn't like someone like her. She should annoy him, not make him feel all warm and strange...

Suddenly, Squall was pulled out of his thoughts as Rinoa opened her mouth after a long silence.

"Ah, that was a great ending! This whole series had me on the edge of my seat." She grinned, holding the closed book near her chest.  
Rinoa's smile faded, as she leaned over the table slightly. "Oops, you're still reading."

"...No, I'm done." He quickly replied.

"Whatcha looking at anyway?" She asked, then taking a peek. "Huh... some boring war book. You should read the one _I've_ been reading, it's called 'Your Knight'! The protagonist struggles in their own internal conflict, as well as juicy romantic troubles. Their love interest gets into _major_ trouble and..."

As the bookworm rambled into her own little world, Squall completely zoned out her words. He thought her voice sounded nice. The way she was getting so passionate over a silly novel was refreshing. Her smile and expressive gestures were also something he liked.

Once he realized he'd been thinking such things, he abruptly stood up. His face looking the opposite direction, in case he'd been blushing or whatever.

"Huh? What's up, Squall?" She tilted her head. "...Ohh, I forgot. You aren't interested in anything unrelated to your missions are you?" She said it teasingly, but he felt like part of her was serious.

"Whatever. I've got no interest in some fairytale."

Was it even a fairytale? Since he hadn't been listening, he wasn't sure, but it sounded corny enough.

She placed the book on the table and also turned away from him. " _Whatever_. Sorry Mr. Realistic."

He ignored her sarcasm and looked right back at her once more. "...Can I leave now? You're done with your book."

Rinoa nodded, and smiled again. He was sort of relieved to see that smile reappear. "Yeah," She got up and put the book back on the shelf. "thanks for coming here with me, Squall."

He paused before saying anything back. "It's... no big deal. You just asked me to come read with you. Nothing to it."

"I'm sure to you it was just an order, but it's still a little sweet. For you, I mean. I just said, 'Hey Squall, come read with me'! And you came." She giggled, "I like reading when someone else is with me. You know, I ask Selphie to come with me sometimes, but she usually gets bored quickly."

So was he just some replacement? For Selphie? Oh well, did it even matter? Not like it was a date.

"...See you." Was all he responded with in the end.

 

* * *

 

Later that night, Squall couldn't fall asleep. There he layed, bored as ever, and his mind running wild as usual.

Negativity was flowing which was also normal for him, but Rinoa Heartilly also occupied his thoughts, which also spurred certain negativity. He was sick of it.

He was, but he couldn't stop himself from foolish, sappy things coming to mind. But more than that... he thought of how optimistic she always is. How she smiles through tough times, always comes through when you need her, and can lift the atmosphere merely with her presence. He despised how her brightness made him sulk. It was wrong.

 

* * *

 

"When will there be another mission?" Squall asked Headmaster Cid.

"There's no need for concern," The older man cooly muttered back, not getting the point of Squall's actual 'concern'. "for once you're able to have a break. Being a part of SeeD, that's sadly not common. Enjoy it while you can, and I'll tell you all when something comes up."

Grumpily, Squall exited the room and walked around the halls. Having nothing to do was awful. So dull. So pointless. So... full of endless tortuous thoughts.

Then, as if it was fate, Rinoa runs over. Immediately he felt some form of weight being lifted, but he felt stupid thinking about that. He didn't fully understand why yet anyway, although he knew he kind of... liked her... maybe.

"Squall, you doing anything right now?" She happily asked him, bouncing up and down.

"Umm... not really."

"Okay then, come with me! Quistis was telling me about this nice part in the back of the Training Facility. Come with me?" She asked, leaning closer whilst giving eyes that would tempt most to just listen.

Suddenly, the bad feeling returned in his stomach. Squall shook his head firmly. "Go yourself." It came out colder than he would have liked, and to be honest, that was purely unintentional.

Rinoa stepped back, but her expression softened considerably. "Did you say that to Quistis before?"

"What-- No!" (I did say something sort of cold I guess... whatever, why am I thinking about that right now? And why did she even say that in response?)

"Hmmm. Ah, I've got it!" She beamed, looking cheerful again as she hit her fists together.

Squall was tempted to just roll his eyes; this girl was too much sometimes.

"I'll show you some other place! Right this way, sir." She chuckled before running off to show him the way.

He raised an eyebrow, unsure what her deal was. Maybe this wasn't exactly a great idea, but he decided to just go along with it.

 

* * *

 

"...This is the balcony." (We've been here before, what's different about it now?)

"Bingo!" She said, looking out at the sky. "Wow, the wind is hard today."

Squall edged closer, resting a lone hand on the railing. It did feel kind of... nice to be out here. Being cooped up in his room certainly wasn't doing anything for his health, even he could admit that.

"So, what's the big idea? You know what the sky looks like." He remarked, glancing over at the girl in blue who stared up at the clouds.

"Duh." She stuck her tongue out before changing to a more serious look. "...Well, you haven't been yourself lately, Squall."

That caught his attention. What did she mean 'hadn't been himself'? He hasn't been acting different... has he? Other than falling for Rinoa and becoming more self-aware of that, he couldn't think of anything else.

"I don't know how to explain it. You're always Mr. Doom and Gloom, snarky, cold, a little rude, brutally honest at the wrong times, standoffish..."

Squall leaned down onto the railing, feeling slightly down at hearing all of the things that he already knew, said aloud. (...Well, thanks for all of the compliments.) He sarcastically thought.

"...but still, I know something is off! You're staying alone more than usual. I thought we were getting kind of closer, you know...? I thought maybe you tried to take my advice to heart with opening up." She finished with, looking downward.

"I don't know what you mean. You're just imagining things." He quickly commented.

She sighed before spatting back. "No, you're not! Squall, you're avoiding me, isn't that right? You were eager to get away from me at the library, you didn't want to hang out with me a little bit ago, and you're always leaving the room right as I come in!"

Wow, she hit the nail right on the head there. No time to be amazed though, since Squall had to come up with a retort quick. But what...? She's right, although he isn't fully sure of the exact reason he's avoiding her. Is it because he likes her, or is it the differences between them?

Now that he's actually considering them both, they're actually quite trivial.

"...Okay. Maybe I am, so what? I just need alone time and your loud self isn't helping..."

Rinoa looked as if she was about to burst from frustration, but instead began to walk away. "Fine, I'm done dealing with you. Call me when you're done brooding."

(...I'm not brooding.)

"Look, I-- Wait a minute, Rinoa." He ran a hand through his hair, softly sighing. "How do I say this... seeing you makes me sort of happy... or something like that."

Cranking her neck over, Rinoa's eyes widened. The look on her face was covered with bewilderment. _Where did this even come from_ , would accurately describe her expression.

He was starting to feel oddly embarrassed but continued. "I don't think that's a bad thing. But you're always so... sunny. When I see you living your life so cheerfully, it reminds me of how... dark mine is. I guess." It seemed like he was more confused than her, and that was probably true.

The seconds after that were filled with silence. Squall couldn't remember the last time he felt so uncomfortable, and actually _welcomed_ some noise. Hanging his head down, he wondered if his face was red right now.

Rinoa slowly wandered back near him and leaned down to try and look at his face. Every time he looked the opposite way though.

Finally, the silence was broken by Rinoa making a light laugh. "For someone who looks as stoic as you... you're a big softie, aren't you?" She mischievously grinned.

That made Squall grow redder. "...Whatever… I don't care what you think."

"It was a compliment, dummy."

Before he could react, Rinoa gently placed both of her hands on his shoulders. "I can't believe something so silly got under your skin. I wish you'd told me instead of sneaking around like a cat." Shortly after a small sigh, she continued. “…but, that’s just how you are, right?”

He didn’t know what to say, so he said nothing. His mind was racing, because come on, the girl he likes is so close, but also because she’s not simply belittling him for feeling the way he has been. Not that he actually cares about that… or well, he wanted to make himself think that way.

“You’re you, Squall. You’re not perfect by any means, and you have _waay_   too many flaws to count.”

His frown deepened, until Rinoa spoke up again. “But all of us are made up of flaws, you know? I’m not perfect either, obviously. So don’t get down in the dumps because of all that.” She let go of him only to point directly at his face, as if to prove her point stronger.

So basically, what she was saying was it’s not bad to be you? Squall thought it was overly simple… but that made it all the more effective.

“Ahh, um… thanks.”

"Although, you should at least make an effort to lighten up more." She added lastly, grinning at him.

With all of her words, he thought hugging her right now would feel extremely nice, especially after having been so close beforehand, but…

\--Then before he could, Rinoa inched closer to his face. She stood on the tip of her toes and reached closer, causing Squall to become confused. Was she going to kiss him?

That didn’t happen though; instead, she pinched his cheeks and took a step back right after. “There you go! A soft but sure pinch can really do the trick! Over your slump now?”

(…She did that on purpose.) Squall cleared his throat, feeling less flustered now. “…Yeah, guess so. I wasn’t thinking right before.”

“Good! Then come on, let’s go somewhere we can be alone.”

“…? You—“

“To the library, duh! It’s always been empty lately, and our little book date was pretty fun last time.”

She sure knew how to tease him. It wasn’t an unwanted kind of tease though, he thought. Slowly, he followed her to their destination, and wound up falling for Rinoa Heartilly even more.


End file.
